Birth is very unpredictable. I remember the weeks leading up to the birth the doctor predicted for the baby to arrive sooner than expected. I remember it like it was yesterday. My wife woke me up in the middle of the night. My head was foggy and my eyes were still groggy while I heard my wife say “babe my water broke”. At first I questioned if it really happened because we only went to sleep 2 hours ago but she assured me that the baby was coming. So then I hopped out of bed with an adrenaline rush and grabbed our things and we were at the hospital an hour later. The drive to the hospital was bittersweet because I knew that this was going to be our last time together alone but I was also ecstatic because we had a blessing coming. My wife gave birth to our beautiful, healthy, daughter and I felt like a new man. After seeing my wife go through eight hours of labor I had learned many things. At first I felt useless because I cannot help my wife with delivery but I learned that there are things you can do as a husband to help. I have listed my top four things you can do as a husband to help your wife through labor. These four tips are based off of my opinion and my experience.
Stay calm
The best thing you can do during labor is to stay calm and be composed. Your partner and yourself will be going through many emotions. While your partner is going through the physical pain and exhaustion of birth, you will need to remain calm and supportive. It will be difficult not to also be overwhelmed with emotion with a baby coming, but your priority is to help your partner with labor. After labor your partner will need you just as much if not more – they are going to be exhausted.
Be prepared
I have never been yelled at so many times by a doctor then the last couple weeks of my wife’s pregnancy. It started at 34 weeks when the doctor asked if we had our bags packed just in case my wife went into labor and of course we did not. At the following appointment the doctor asked us again if we had our bags packed. We both nervously responded that we did not have our bags packed standing in fear. At this point the doctor told us this horrible story of how this couple was not prepared and how the husband had to go back home after the baby was born to grab supplies for the wife and he grabbed all the wrong things- thongs, jeans… That next appointment we were packed and ready just in case.
Be there for your significant other
In my personal opinion the best thing you can do for your partner through labor is being there for them through attentiveness. Instead of just sitting on your phone or sleeping, try to hold your partner’s hand or try to talk to them about how they’re feeling. Just being present and listening goes a long way to show appreciation to your partner. I remember that I wanted to help my wife as much as I could so I helped her by holding her legs, massaging, words of encouragement, always having water ready, and holding her hand through labor. As a father I am very grateful to go through that process with her and to see the birth of our daughter.
Take the pics
I remember that I was so high strung because I didn’t know what to expect as a first time father. The biggest thing I learned was to just to take a deep breath and relax – it will feel overwhelming but it will be okay. There will be plenty of nurses and doctors to help you out or answer any questions you have for them. These moments will happen so fast and the biggest thing to do is to take it all in. We asked the nurses to take pictures and videos during labor and delivery. These are some of the most special memories and now we can revisit them all the time. Those 24 hours at the hospital felt so quick and you don’t want to forget them. Enjoy your newborn and just relax because every little thing will be alright.
Tip #1: Make sure the car is always gassed up.